Is it all about Wiring?

Our brains are awe-inspiring. We use our brains to ponder on the wonders of our brains. Our brains allow us to think of what we are thinking and why we are thinking, and even further. This organ which sometimes I think it is not a separate organ from other organs since it just goes into every single aspect, so it must be of a higher rank than organs. Some days ago, I was looking at someone who has some body deformity yet he has an intact brain that he was able to talk and think for himself, and serve himself and express what he wants, and he was somewhat old. In the same house, there was a guy in his thirties who has a severe form of autistic disorder, ( I am aware that those who are really aware of neuroplasticity will also counter my words by saying that our brains have the power of countering what an autistic brain can cause. That we can work in the right manner to alleviate the hardships that face a patient of autism) if I am not mistaken, but his body seems rather healthy to some extent. The latter was in the eyes of many to be nothing but a “useless being” roaming around the house. Looking at the issue from an economic point of view, the one with brain issues is just consuming energy and resources without giving any useful product. Literally, he is a burden.

Our brains are striking neuroscientists constantly and as they probe deep in it, they realize that they knew only an iota about it and till now, most neuroscientists who realize the power of the brain assert that they have reached nowhere deep in unraveling the wonders that this wonder provides.

Yet, today we could relate many happenings and also feelings that arise within us to certain mechanisms taking place in our brains. Cajal paved the way to know the morphology of the neuron and others refined this and searched on it. Scientists came to learn about neurotransmitters and how these are greatly entwined to the feelings that arise within us. When I come to understand some of the wonders that are done by dopamine, I question myself, how can people ask us to separate the rational from the emotional realm. Dopamine works in our brains in many ways sometimes causing certain feelings to arise within us, so when one is emotional, the brain is actually playing the big part.

Scientists today are touching many topics all reliant on the power of the brain’s wiring capacity. Neurons that fire together, wire together. If I learn to type as I am whistling, over time whenever I type, I will get the urge to whistle, cause those two brain maps were formed together and possibilities are there that they have been merged to some extent. Many habits can be traced to this aspect and it sounds so logical.

Another aspect is the opposite of this and how one can unlearn some things. When we look at behavioral therapy, especially CBT, (C for cognitive) we shall realize that therapist using this technique relied on this aspect. It feels that they had this understanding but yet some couldn’t put it in words that contemporary neuroscientists who are interested in neuroplasticity are explaining it. The process of unlearning habits is also one that goes deep into this wiring issue and it sounds so valid. So these are the steps of unlearning something and coming up with new brain maps.

First, get away from the things that are connected. If you remember a sad scene by listening to a genre of music, stop listening to that genre for some time to weaken the merged map.

Then, after a while try to separate those two things by making separate maps for each. Try remembering the scene in an isolated way without relating it to any form of music and overtime it will have its own brain map. Listening to that genre in different setting will then make your brain realize that it is not confined to a certain scene and a different brain map shall form and over time each will be following different neuronal paths.

Then the new maps are formed. 

A small notion On DREAMS

Within our awake time, many feelings transiently form within ourselves, many reactions we take due to certain stimuli, and maybe even some slight compunctions we might experience, and all these for sure have a powerful effect in our brains. Those who promote the immense power of the subconscious say that 90percent of thoughts and feelings are generated by our subconscious, a supposition I find so grandiose without powerful scientific evidence, which some may consider mere pop psychology.

At the meantime, I subscribe to the notion that our brains are made of billions of neural connections and every emotion and state is due to interactions that happen within the synapse, the area between two neurons. Sometimes many firings might accumulate willing to get fired, but due to many constraints we might unconsciously activate the part of the brain that works to inhibit certain stimuli. Some propositions suggest that when we are asleep, the part of the brain responsible for this inhibitory mechanism is not working and this allows the accumulated activation that we had in the day to start firing, and as we are sleeping, there is the part of the brain that stops our motor neurons to make our muscles function to our thoughts, yet people who have problems on this part may react to those firings.

The point I am trying to make is that what we have gone through within the day dictates our dreams to a very high extent, and sometimes when these firings happen, the notions in our brains interact with it accordingly, and with this I think that dreams tell us a lot about our subconscious state. Keeping in mind that my understanding of the subconscious is our deep internal schema in which we form not so deliberately, yet the path that we seek in growth is by our choice. Since we choose our paths of growth then we indirectly choose the internal schema we want to be formed. They say “you can change your mind in seconds, and your brain in weeks”, and this shows me well that if I change my mind today upon a certain notion, I will need a certain level of perseverance to make it fixed within my brain and in that night, I might have a dream that entertains this change and my brain at that night will react based on the tools it has at the moment.

What Do I want?

I remember when I was a child, a notion used to visit my mind and drive me crazy and I always strived to ward it off, but it used to linger and pay me visits every now and then. Yes it might have had its religious roots, but it is more of an existential inquiry rather than a purely religious one. Today, similar notions, are troubling me again and they are having devastating effects.

Before falling asleep, my brain used to wonder on how this world is filled with routine in every way of life. Everyone has his way of spending his day and night. Some people may counter my words and say that what matters is the experiences one goes through every day and not what may appear as a routine. For you to know the quality of one person’s life, you should go deep in the quality of their routine, for it may be a pleasing one. But can we use positive descriptions for routine. I am still ambivalent about this and I think there is no one absolute answer.

Those days as a child, I used to assume, if I am in heaven already and already given my place for eternity, as it is said to be, how long will I like what I am doing there. I used to sense my reactions those days. Alas, it was disturbing my fragile childish heart and I was always feeling my heart getting shattered. I used to murmur some words hoping that this thought will leave my brain.

I learnt to suppress it for it is utter blasphemy to some people but I once had the chance to express it and I remember getting a very superficial reply that made me realize that this question is a very hard one and it should be avoided. I grew and it grew suppressed in my subconscious, I was searching for the answer wherever I thought I could get one. Actually I got answers that were soothing for some time, but I would soon feel that the answers were not really satisfying and I would again feel that contorted feeling so bad.

Yes, it is the reaction that is problematic and not the mere imagination. I take a step forward when I have this imagination. I go on trying to feel how I might react if I am in the situation, for I want to know how I am going to feel, for that will keep me ready to face it at that time.

This is anxiety. When you get stressed by what is not there. When you get stressed by mere thoughts formed by your withered mind. When you stress yourself for the unknown.

Today, with a more mature brain, I suffer similar anxiety, yet due to worldly issues, and I am sure that any intelligent psychotherapist will trace my troubles of anxiety back to this ultimate one, telling me that if I deal with this one and come up with a solution for it, then the rest will follow. Today, a deep ache of “then what” is recurring in myself. I imagine myself reacting to the moment when I get what I have been striving for. I then ask “then what”. If I reached my goals and got my rewards “then what?”

I believe that this is an erroneous projection that I am making as I picture the scene in a very marred manner. Why is it marred? Because one can hardly picture a future scene with all its details and the effects it will cast upon the person who is in the situation. I am projecting my current feelings into a future happening, if it will happen. It is like I am in 2004 and thinking what if someone gives me a document of 4GB where will I put all the files.Today I can easily have it in my flash but at that time if I imagine to be in such a situation that I should have some files at the moment and go with it, I will be utterly overwhelmed. 

So, maybe the tools of my mind are what cause me to feel this poignant feeling. I am deeply anxious and I always remind myself to live the present experiences and embrace the coming more fully, yet I realized that also deep empathetic experiences are somewhat overwhelming. They are formed by an amalgamation of euphoria and melancholy. It is either I am an unstable person or since I underwent remarkable changes in my life, my brain tuning wasn’t able to comport in the right manner.

To be continued. 

Trying to be hopeful

No one, as far as I know, can ever live a life that is void of bumps, in other words, no one can experience eternal bliss here. People strive in a variety of ways to put color in their lives, so that they don’t experience perpetual gloominess. Many people address this issue using the basis of anti-thesis, that one can hardly experience happiness if he didn’t live some moments in its contrasting abstract. Making your life vibrant allows you to taste different life moments and gains you the ability to live apparently similar moments but with different sentiments. Our complexity, if cherished serves our best interests. It is great to live with some hope of getting better in all aspects of life. I believe that our lives are dictated through our actions which are dictated by our thoughts. Think positively to reflect a positive action which will allow a better life to unfold itself. Reality can be harsh and it can impact our beings forcefully in a way that renders us defenseless but we should work to develop an imperturbable mental stamina. Writing down some maxims that you shall follow without bending any inch away from, will allow you to create a rigid mental mindset that can help you maintain a steadfast personality that is not capricious and easily amended. .At the same time, I am not calling to form an absolutely implacable personality, even though we should have some beliefs, especially those that appeal to human equality, which should have a smear of implacability