An Advice to a neurotic intelligent dude

People with wide imaginations are those who mostly suffer from disappointment. As your expectations get too high, you suffer when you don’t reach what you have been willing to reach. Those who delve deep through themselves to understand what are their real drives and start to suffer from the reality in front of them as it is hard for them to make noticeable changes. Some of them start getting too hypersensitive and every feeling they experience, some might be somatic and some psychological, is put under the microscope of scrutiny. Such people start to feel detached from the external environment, not finding anything stimulating out there, and by that they may develop an obsessive inner feeling, a feeling of trying to know every movement in their body, a hypochondriac nature might arise too. Even as their hair follicles get moved due to sympathetic stimulations coming from the adrenergic nerves, they start to wonder what’s going on with their bodies. It might be due to another underlying belief, which is they think that they have overwhelmed their minds, and things are starting to get awry, as they are thinking on every single thing while others are not as fastidious as they are. As people make them believe that they are over using their brains, they might start to believe that that might have indeed got close to the threshold of sanity starting to step into the realm of the insane.

I think that such people in many cases try to assuage their hypersensitivity and at the same time they don’t want to avoid some of the things they find brain rewarding and attitude developing. They might seek advices here and there and sadly they might get the advice that tells them to avoid reading a lot or thinking a lot. This advice is partially correct but it actually makes them reach another feeling of demise. The ones who present such advices are people who are accustomed to generalizing as they didn’t put restraints on their advice. It should be don’t think a lot in doom, but keep thinking on other things. It should be don’t deluge yourself with negative realists who make you picture the world as it will end after moments and it will be an end in which you will see your intestines hanging in front of you and the rest of your family being crucified by the pipes of your toilet, and the one who might be behind the plot against your family was a brother you never knew. So oversimplified advices are bad in their essence having a beautiful coat. If those naïve advices are taken, our neurotic intelligent dudes might get back thinking that they are put in a hellish dilemma either to choose to stay average and fine or try to get more but sacrifice your sanity. I think the accurate advice to present for such minds is to make them try to realize how immense the world is and that the feeling they are feeling might be due to certain happening in their body, which shouldn’t be negative ones, but it is their hypersensitivity and keen focus that might make them feel every twitch and their dark perspective might make them imagine that this twitch is one alerting him of an impending catastrophe. 

They should be told that continue reading but do realize that what you might agree with today might not appeal you tomorrow and never to think that you have known everything. They should be taught to diminish their hypersensitivity about their impending sickness by engaging in readings that can be technically informative or anthropologically important but not things that might make them question their sanity. They should be praised that their heightened focus is not a complete dark issue but it can be tamed and it will have great rewards and it will allow him to excel further.

I think behaviorists who advice such people to avoid thinking or reading, are providing a very drastic shortcut that might reward our dudes for few days and what will strike them after that might push them to a deeper chasm. 

Our dreams and our mood

I feel that the content of our night dreams have a great effect on the mood we wake with. When someone is dreaming, his brain regions get activated yet another region which stops our body from reacting to our feelings is active too and this stops us from acting upon them. Some people have anomalies in this region and such people are prone to injuries during their sleep.

With this, we understand that our body is affected by what is going on in our dreams so for sure our emotions will be affected as well. Dreams I believe tell us a lot of what is there in our subconscious as well as what our mind had in it the whole day, so it is a summation of all that we had to the point before sleeping. As we dream, we interact with the dream yet our bodies are still, but I believe that our emotions are played with during our dreams and that’s why we find all kinds of results when someone suddenly wakes from his sleep. Some wake up so frightened, while some wake up with a smile and the list goes on.

 So I think that it is valid to say that someone woke up with a bad mood and the reason behind it could be his/her dreams. I think that a kind of solution is a thoughtful ponder trying to realize that it was a dream and in dreams one has no full control of every event taking place, but after waking the person has better control and by that one should be able to acquire some soothing feeling, by understanding that he again gained control of the happenings ahead of him.  

Some notions on Polygamy

Polygamy is defined to be the state of being married to more than one person at a time. It is a practice that has been prevalent in many cultures through the past up to the present. Looking at marriage from a cultural point of view, we realize that procreation is the most integral aspect, to the point that the wonderful sexual sensation is undermined. Many cultures have been circumcising the female and this makes them lose a great amount of sexual excitement, and actually some records show that the reason behind circumcision of female was to make a girl not experience sexual pleasure which may push her to seek something extra-marital.

It is well known that men have been dominant over women for a long time that marriage was in most cases controlled by men and till today the same goes on in many cultures. This is what made polygamy to be mainly a practice of men rather than female and at the same time the biological make up of men gives them the priority to be polygamous, while female can hardly be polygamous. Looking at the issue from an evolutionary perspective, we realize that the male in most species seeks partners to make the most of their genes to be passed to the next generation so they seek mates and indulge in sex for pleasure and procreation, yet some other aspects are still not clearly understood. We humans, have a more developed prefrontal cortex and we appear to be the only species that consciously thinks on many steps and aspects of life. We are the beings that ponder the big questions of life and also choose mates based on many reasons today.

With this, I can say that how people look at polygamy shall differ on how people look at the purpose of marriage. People who think that marriage is only commitment and procreation shall accept the idea of polygamy because polygamy will allow you to procreate more and blend your genes in more than one partner, and in cases that one wife might be impotent, one can still procreate by the other partner, and all under the veil of marriage. People who look at marriage to be a bond of many dimensions, a bond that involves love, care, respect, mutual development, mutual helping, experiencing novelty together, growing together, experimenting the sweets and bitters of life together, believing in finding yourself in the other (and many other issues) and one should be fully committed to one person for the whole life and feel all feelings only towards her are rare in this world, and this are the ones who don’t accept polygamy and at the same time avoid to be part of any extra-marital relationship.

One might object that these people are rare, pointing at the western culture, but if you look closely at the western culture you shall realize that there are so many differences. The western culture regards marriage to be a responsibility to live with a person but in most cases they are rarely committed. We see people who indulge in sex from when they hit puberty and they keep on having new partners and breaking up till they pass 30 years of age then they consider the idea of marriage. Yet some still continue to have extra-marital sex but they don’t marry those people. Nowadays, we came to learn of terms that can be hardly accepted by people who truly know something about commitment and sacrifice. Terms like “having sex for fun out of marriage” for the reason of change, or a term like consensual sex. These are terms that are absent in the Arabic world, at least publicly. In the Arabic culture, a man who is truly committed to marriage will hardly seek sex out of his marriage. With this, we can understand why polygamy is higher in the Arabic world and lower in the western world. There is an incident that happened in Tunisia a while ago, when Tunisians started to allow the French culture to take over their Arabic one. There was a man who had a wife and he was able to convince her to allow him to have another wife. He then married the next wife, but since it wasn’t allowed in Tunisia to have more than a wife, some people who knew this man reported him to the court. As he was prosecuted, the defendant’s lawyer tried many ways to show the court that this second girl is not his wife but she is just his girlfriend. The point was that if it was just a sex relationship with a girlfriend then he would not face trial but if she was his second wife then he would be punished and this shows how flawed is the double standard we acquired from the western world and many people are accepting these issues blindly.

I think that if one just seeks sex and procreation in a wife then that person will also accept the idea of polygamy, but if one thinks that marrying a girl is not for the mere goal of having sex and procreating, then one shall have a higher level of commitment and try to maintain a wonderful long-term relationship with his only wife, and at the same time avoid being part of extra-marital relations. In addition to this conclusion, one also must not compare the Arabic culture with the western world, because in the western world one can easily find sex without getting into the responsibility of commitment and marriage and it is well known that many orphanages are in the part of the world that accepts sex out of marriage because children are procreated without the presence of two people who are ready to take care of that child and be parents of it.