Internal Turmoil

A predicament makes it way in our life and it takes our belongings or people who were part of our daily life. We loathe it and feel so hurt that we wish to end ourselves. IT destroys our routine life and provides us with a situation very different from what we had. It is a miserable removal from our comfort zone. We hope to end ourselves but we realize that life still deserves us and it also expects from us and by that we work to alter our state of mind to be able to comport with the situation, and maintain sanity but it is not an easy work.


We start to feel apathetic towards whatever reminds us of our earlier state since we feel sad the moment we grow nostalgic. We may detach ourselves from everything thinking that that is an objective way to heal yet we are forced to do so due to the constant afflictions upon us.
We come to understand that indeed everything can be lost, and the only thing that remains is our ridiculous naked beings.
A person who has strong positive convictions can be able to through such a tunnel and realize many things and come out well refined.


Or minds are malleable and attaching hardships to lessons is a great thing for our hearts and minds. It provides a lesson for the person suffering, but a lesson of depth which may be an abstract powerful notion that is not tangible. For those who expect tangible acquirement after going though hardships, they will even suffer more as they realize that their situation might be getting harder seen from an apathetic objective lens. We are well aware that the world which is guided by macro-physics is functioning upon material causal pathways but other files are more interconnected having various factors in action.

Artists and Orchestra performers... Creativity and Understanding!!!!

Those who have pondered for some time in how their thoughts shape their lives or those who studied neurology from a neuroplastic perspective shall both agree that our brains are wired by what we focus on for long and it affects our neural connections. When we constantly act in a certain way, that neural path is strengthened and overtime it becomes what we react upon automatically and some people call it the subconscious. A process called facilitation in which even a small stimulus may evoke a reaction from a neural pathway that is highly strengthened.

With this, we realize that we are active in forming how we should be over time. It is not an easy task to rewire your brain, for we are able to change our minds easily, but our brains don’t change as fast as our minds. The transition state is hardest as we are stuck with notions of certain reactions and we are willing to develop a certain reaction, so we find ourselves torn apart in this development tearing situation.

If you agree with what I wrote so far, then we realize that our reactions affect our environment and they (our reactions) do form us even more, so it is a multifarious actor. With this, we shall also agree that the actions we carry shape how we think and how we look at life in general and it also affects our communication with our fellow humans and other species.

A performer in an orchestra is a person that really amazes me since she is able to perform her role in a sole way, yet adding to the ultimate masterpiece that is performed by the group. I think that the brain of an orchestra performer is really one of understanding and patience. A person who is able to add a part in a bigger picture and at times feels that her performance is just at the background, yet she maintains patience and realizes that she is part of the overall beauty being presented. One might argue that these people rehearse a lot before performing on stage, and this actually makes my point even stronger. A person who constantly practices her brain to function at an individual level and be part of a group is one of high communication and empathy for sure. I have always wished to talk to a performer and ask how this affects their daily life.

The other person who is really a person of patience and wonderful in step taking. An artist is a person who starts a sketch with a scratch and her mind still holds a belief that at the end this will be something appealing. Taking small steps and adding to the overall beauty is indeed a work of art. I think that an artist is a person who is open to listen and understand. Artists have a lot in their brain, and the great wiring inside them allows them to bring many notions into action at a time. It reflects in their behavior since they appear to be so attentive when they focus as they address topics by taking many factors in action of the situation. An artist, at a certain age, starts looking at life from an artistic perspective, and what is beautiful life if not a piece of art. She has the ability to always wait for the bigger picture and realize more than others that what might appear as discord at a level is an accord at a greater level. The mind of an artistic human is one that realizes that small blemishes can add beauty but patience is needed to understand the presence of a blemish.

With this, I would conclude a rather harsh conclusion. In a culture that prohibits orchestras, we would hardly find people who are really willing to work together in a symphonic nature. One might argue that even orchestra performers are not a lot in the world you find more developed. I would appeal such people to read about something called vicarious feeling. We have mirror neurons and when we see hundreds of thousands being part of an audience attending an orchestra, we realize that these people draw beauty from that action. We see them weeping in joy and amazement by the synchrony presented by the performers. Cultures that prohibit this will have humans that are so narrow in their goals functioning in an individually selfish way.

Again, a culture that deems art to be the work of the sinful, is none but a mentally infertile culture. Artists have always been the pioneers in realizing depth in matters and understanding the functionalities of things which the general public may find useless. Artists find a purpose in everything and their perspective beautifies what seems mundane. Such beings are more able to understand even the presence of suffering in a humane way. Artists understand that suffering can be a fuel, but an artist will never invite suffering for they realize that suffering that brings itself is what acts as a fuel but that that imposes itself is nothing but a hindrance. Works of art are translations of emotions and deep feelings and a culture that prohibits art for any reason does nothing more than promote superficiality. An artist realizes that there is no one cause and effect but many causes act together to come up with a beautiful outcome which also may seem terrible to some, but they still find it beautiful. An artist thinks holistically and not in a linear way, and with this we understand that a culture that goes against art is one that seeks to control its people since art practices the mind to be more creative and independent. 

Notions on the basic Needs and mind distraction.

Humans will to lead a uniform life that is increasingly rewarding. We constantly try to seek what is better.  We build expectations and we live trying to reach them. Sometimes we reach them and feel the reward and at times we get shattered not reaching them. When we don’t reach them we feel disappointed. Some people have the capacity of maintaining positivity and going on while some are so prone to fall down and get wrecked. Being a mixture of frailty and strength, we differ in how we react, and that is also dictated partially by how we were molded through our lives. We differ due to many factors. Biological, psychological, cultural, environmental, and the list goes on.

We humans think and discuss and since we are societal beings, we have been expressing our feelings and trying to understand what stirs us and what we really seek. From philosophers and sages, gurus and mentors, theologians and thinkers, and today even scientists who are dealing with physics are also sharing their ideas on some of our inner stirrings. Among scientists, those who were given a lot of respect when they talk on these issues are psychotherapist, for they endeavor to understand our minds which apparently is hard to comprehend, for it is the tool used to comprehend itself and it always realizes that it leaves away mesmerized learning a lot but realizing that a lot is still unknown about itself.

Freud the psychoanalyst focused on how to make our unconscious thoughts and feelings rise to the conscious, for when they reach this level, we are able to understand what appears to be the underlying guiding thoughts which we are seemingly not overt. Sigmund Freud concluded that depression can result from exaggerated expressions of guilt and self-blame. Some guilt may be due to a certain event that took place in the past and has already sink in deep. It may send its negative powers to the whole mind and the goal is to get to it and deal with it. Psychoanalysis tries to allow one to bring up these deeply rooted thoughts up to the conscious then deal with them.

Looking at another school of psychotherapy, we see Victor Frankl, who thinks that the most intense feelings of being desperate is due to the loss of meaning in life. When you lose meaning in life and your situation is in wreckage you start getting deep into the realm of depression, but what is the meaning of life and what does human want indeed? When most people hear the sentence meaning of life, they feel that it is an abstract notion, and it is so in most cases. Humans like to seek abstract notions especially when they feel that most of their biological needs are met, but for those who are not able to reach certain biological needs and at the same time, they are desperate of knowing their meaning in life, the challenge increases in some form.

When we are unable to reach our goals or if we are not able to find meaning in what we are doing, we start to find ourselves feeling guilty of why we are alive and we start to give in with those negative feelings. We start blaming ourselves and this pushes us into a deep and dark chasm.

We are biological beings and we do realize that we have brains that guide how we feel and behave. We are shaped by our environment and by our expectations too. Looking at the matter from an evolutionary biological perspective, we should understand that we could roughly categorize the brain into three main categories. We have the part of the brain that functions for the basic needs which are food, sex, and shelter, then we have a more evolved part which is dealing with emotions and then comes the prefrontal cortex. I always think that when the three basic needs are satisfied fully, which appears impossible, one can get the ability to move on to the other parts and if there is a disruption in the three basic needs, or one just imagines that he is not yet satisfied in those three matters, we will find people who are acting so desperately to reach things which they will find in a short time satisfaction and then start the search again.

With this in mind, I would like to say that in our culture, these three things are not fully met. We find people who are so desperate to unite, but there are many hindrances that stop them from doing so. We find people who gave up their abstract dreams just for the sake of getting jobs in order to reach a soul mate. It is well known that for those who really will to live together and support each other, being together might be a fuel of development. When he realizes that he wants her to be the person to correct his misdoings or to add ideas on his goals, he will yearn to be listening to her, yet the culture stands erect between them, asking for the boy to function all alone in his path and strive for so long to meet high demands set by the parents of both parties. Parents think that that reflects their respect towards their daughters, while that does nothing than instill upon her the notion that she is no big difference from a car that is respected when it is more costly. 

We end up seeing people loving others to fuel them to attain mundane goals, and they forget about their higher goals they once set in life. One seeks a job for the sake of reaching her because her father is in control of her will. At this stage, people who had certain high goals and at the same time were yearning to unite with the other, start to face inner turmoil, of either putting down his higher dreams or reaching her. It is an inner dilemma that can drag many people to different low feelings, yet there are many who can reconcile them externally but for being a human, that person shall face intermittent coming turmoil. Normally, one wills to pursue his dream with the right person but society pushes one to feel that it is an either or choice.

Today our youth are changing their paradigms on love and sex, and they are realizing that they are not willing to repeat the lives of their parents, for those who have parents being married traditionally. For those youth, who try to know each other and love each other, face cultural constraints to be together, it is not a mere cultural hindrance, but it is a deprivation of one of the basic human needs of connection, and by that we have the basic human brain unsatisfied, which reflects on the other parts of the brain. It is well-established that brain connections between these three categories – roughly speaking- is bidirectional and when one part is unsatisfied in a certain way it will reflect on other parts of the brain. It is no wonder to find out that in our cultures, pornographic addiction is higher because there are deeper factors going awry in the minds of our youth than those in the western world. What pushes many into pornography after some desperation of uniting with someone but not being able, is that the internet is greatly accessible while what they might be seeking in real world is seemingly out of reach, so they seek what is easier. It might appear to the reader that I reduced the connection matter into a sexual act. It is well known that when one is interested in the other and delves too deep, there is a mixture of emotions that is experienced, and the sexual dimension is naturally instigated. Some biologists also proposed that our minds are sexual tools and they are also part of the courting mechanism.

Many people reduced these addictions to the mere reason of being visually stimulated when you go outside, but if that’s the reason, we would see low numbers of such an addiction in our countries, yet we are seeing the exact opposite. The brains of many remain unsatisfied and by that they seek satisfaction in a different way, and once they get hooked up in this vicious cycle, they turn into pornographic addicts, and yes it is an addiction which shares the same functionalities of addiction of something like cocaine.

As long as we go on with our weird cultural constraints and our hateful system that makes a girl’s choice restricted upon what her parents filtered, we should expect more nonfunctional youth who have many chances of development ahead of them, yet they feel that they are not full humans and they keep on seeking the unknown. If we look from an anthropological perspective, we shall realize that humans have a feeling deep inside them to connect with some people, and when this connection is constantly being severed, we find people whose minds have been shaped in a negative way. These people start to get an impression that the world is conspiring against them and whatever they seek shall not be reached. From a biological perspective, love (sex) has been a very powerful driving force. It is evident in history and those interested can seek to probe on the matter further. 

Choosing to live with someone who shall widen your horizon upon life and support your inner experiences is life in itself. Living with someone whom you can show yourself with full clarity, pure intention, respect, trust, confidence, and above all Love, is the dance of life, that’s how a Zen Master sees it. 

إسأل قلب حبيبتي من رب العالمين.

إسأل قلب حبيبتي من رب العالمين.

كان نومي طويلا وعندما صحوت وجدت نفسي حائرا وكأني تحت غيمة لا تكاد تسمح لي أن أطير. لست ممن يعشق أن يحلق بجسده ولكني أعشق أن أرى فكري يطير ويسمو في فضاء الأفكار وجمال الخيال.

نظرت إلى هاتفي ووجدت إجابتين من حبيبتي لسؤالين طرحتهما البارحة. كم أعشق كلماتها, كم أعشق ذكائها, كم هي عميقة في حواسها. عندما أقرأ كلماتها أشعر أني سخيف ولا أجيد التعبير. عندما أقرأ لها أشعر وكأني شخص لا يعرف معنى المشاعر فكم هي محترفة في ذلك. أستغرب عندما تقول لي أنني أجيد التعبير, وأجيد التفكير, وأجيد الكلام, وأنها ليست ندا لي في هذه الأمور. أحقيقة ما تقول أم تراني بعين لا أرى نفسي بها. نعم إنها عينها , وها نحن نعود إلى أساس الجمال.

هي تقول أنها تكتب ما يلهمها قلبها وبهذا فهي خير مني في هذا. إنها القلوب التي تبصر والقلوب هي البوصلة الأصيلة وأما العقل فما هو إلى متمرد على سلطات القلب.

ساعات قليلة وقررت أن أستحضر بعض من الإدراك الروحي كي أقبل على إلهي بقلبٍ خاشع. سألت نفسي بعض الأسئلة الوجودية ثم كبرت. عشقت الآية الأولى وكأني لم أتلوها من قبل. الحمد لله رب العالمين.

عندما تعرف أنك توجه حمدك لإله يصف نفسه أنه رب العالمين, تشعر أن الجميع معك متوجها تجاه هذا الإله ولو اختلفو في تسميته. نعم إنه رب العالمين, رب الجميع بلا استثناء . أتلاحظ أن الأية تقول "رب العالمين" وليس رب الناس. كم هي عميقة هذه الأية

كيف لشخص يستحضر هذا المعنى أن لا يعشق. وكيف لشخص يدعي أنه يفهم هذا المعنى يقتل. علينا أن لا نخدع أنفسنا أن القتلة يتكلمون مع رب العالمين, فهم لا يعرفونه ولم يفرفوه ولن يعرفوه لأنهم لا يملكون البوصلة.

لا تسألهم من هو رب العالمين, إسأل حبيبتي وسوف تعرف من هو. لا تسأل ذلك القلب العنيد الذي يصرخ أمام الناس متمنيا من رب العالمين أن يجمد دماء العالمين ويبقى الرب بلا عباد. إسأل حبيبتي وسوف تدرك أن من يفهم الأية سوف يكون عاشقا.