You control Fate!

Last night, as he was back from the game, he made his way into his house, all the lights were off, and no one was awake. The smell of dinner has been part of the walls, and it made him feel the pressure in his hungry being. He didn't eat because most of the restaurants were closed. He searched for something to keep him alive to the next morning, and happily he got some in the fridge.
Lying in his bed, he tried to track what is going on in his mind, but it was so fast and ephemeral, and he thought that going for a pen and paper would help his mind focus on certain things and capture them, but his body was sore for that action. Struggling with his restless mind and his paining body, he realized that he was in complete confusion. But he could sleep...
Next morning, he entered the class and he could read that the teacher wrote on the board "Take Control of Your Fate!". He couldn't help but sneer as he was heading towards his chair. The teacher was enthusiastically talking about how things in life could unfold as long as you focus at what you want and work to achieve it. He remembered his cousin, who struggled two years to try to find a cure for his disease but ended up under soil before getting it. He wondered, did my cousin start his search late? Weren't two years enough? Or maybe he wasn't so focused to find a cure? But did he choose to get that disease?. Suddenly the teacher cut his mind from wandering and called his name. He stood hesitantly and nodded his head as to show readiness to answer what would be asked from him. "Could you come in front of the class and share how you could resonate with this statement"?

"Fate, this topic...it is hard... taking control of it... I-I-I w-wonder how can we take control of it?", he uttered that as he was looking at his classmates.
"Just say whatever comes in your mind; it shouldn't be like those insights presented by wise old man nor by those deeply religious sufis or buddhist monks", the teacher encouraged him to speak.

His face grew tense a bit and he always lacked the capacity of forming smooth introductions, but he just remembered a sentence, which he noted down,  from a book he read yesterday, and he thought that if he used that as the introduction even if it might seem off topic to some. He always relied on points to start a deeper conversation.

The anus and its incomprehensible, repulsive product represents not only physical determinism andboundness, but the fate as well of all that is physical: decay anddeath.

"This sentence I read yesterday resonates deeply and makes sense within myself as at some point in my life, probably 2 years ago, I developed a very focalized focus on every single twitch I experience and I was trying to track my stream of consciousness and catch it and even try to feel how my inner emotions alternate and what makes them alternate. I sank deep within myself in a very negative way, and this made me develop an absurd form of hypochondria, and I started to feel that some phobias were starting to lurk in. I was so focused on every matter that happens and try to know why it happens and how it happens and when it will happen again, and how will I live it, and how will I go on living with it. I was trying to capture what is not constant. I was trying to instill stagnancy upon a perpetually changing matter. It was very stressful and debilitating. I came to realize that what we call fate is what already happens to us but we can't talk about what hasn't been disclosed yet. We can actually know the fate of the physical, and that is death and decay, but fate of the intangible.. hmm

"Okay thanks for your contribution, you can..." the teacher tried to end his words but he continued with a heightened voice,

"Though at the meantime, I have detached from myself a bit as I am trying to make sense of the world beyond my limited creatureliness and try to realize that there is more and trying to understand that complexity is present and endeavoring to figure out every bit is in no way a sensible path to follow.
After this change, I still find myself struggling to attain certain things and whenever I feel that some form of hindrance is coming into my path, I feel deeply defeated and I start thinking how will I live with this? how will I reach what I want with this? how will I overcome this? how will I be able to go on with this? how will I be able to be me with this? and the ever deepening dig goes on.
Then here am I as well thinking about big choices in life and trying to figure out how I shall do all and how things shall unfold. The problem is that I have realized that figuring out everything is complex, yet I am not living like a person who has figured that out. I am living with the same stressful thoughts that make me feel that I must figure out every single bit in every matter and I think that I am the sole actor in my fate, BUT I AM NOT.
I am aware that superficial people may jump and say that you are in control of your fate fully but that is a bogus claim, and it is one that aligns with the lives of the very minority in the world. The majority of people are not those who are in control of their fate and lives, but the minority are. Moving to certain areas in the world, we find people who are not yet capable to express their thoughts. What is strikingly striking is that these same superficial people who call you to take control of your fate, tell you that sometimes one should not say what is in his mind, and that some things are indeed taboo. Such people fail to realize that their aims might have aligned with those who supported them, and that their aims are those that are in the normal middle when we look at a Gaussian distribution.

Life is chaotic and taking control of fate is assuming you fully understood how fate unfolds and that is utter nonsense to live with such a claim."

الذكاء الإصطناعي في كافتيريا في صنعاء!!!

بعض منا عندما يترك وطنه ويذهب لبلدة أخرى ، تلبس ثقافة أخرى وتسير على نهج أخر، يبدأ يشعر بنوع من التجديد الداخلي وخاصة إذا كان يعشق ثقافة هذة البلدة التي ذهب إليها. تكون عيناه مقبلتين على الحياة بصورة مبتهجة وتريان النور في كل حركة وفي كل صوت وتشعران أن الحياة مختلفة تماما عما تركته عيناه في وطنه. يذهب للمقهى ليشرب قهوته وأذنيه تحاولا أن تسمعا كلام من حوله حتى يلتقط نقاشاتهم الجانبية وأما في وطنه فكان عقله يدرك جيدا ما يتحدث به أصحابه. ينظر يمينا فيرى شبابا بكتبهم فيسمع اسم فيلسوف على لسان أحدهم فيندهش ويقول لنفسه أنه لم يرى هذا من قبل في وطنه ولا يظن أن يراه في الأساس

 يصور هؤلاء الشباب ويضعهم على الفيس بوك ويكتب "عندما ذهبت للمقهى, كان هؤلاء الشباب في مقتبل أعمارهم يتناقشون ما طرحه برتنارد راسل في كتابه مشكلات الفلسفة" ويكمل كاتبا "إذا صار لدينا مثل هؤلاء أظن أننا قد نتغير". المشكلة أنه ظن أنه علم كل ما في وطنه وعرف جيدا أن لا مجال لسماع مثل هذه النقاشات ، لا في المقاهي أو في اي مكان عام. فكان عندما يذهب لمثل هذه الأماكن لا يحاول أن يعرف حوارات الأخرين ولا هو مهتم أساسا لأنه يعلم ما يتكلمون فيه. فهو يعرف جيدا أنهم يتكلمون عن تخزينة البارحة وعن صورة التفاحة التي رسمت كلمة "الله" في داخلها

شابان في كافتيريا في صنعاء يطلبون ساندويتش فاصوليا ويتحدثان بحماس. ملامح الإنزعاج واضحة على أحدهم   من الضوضاء التي تصدره إحدى المايكروفونات في المسجد المجاور بعد صلاة المغرب. كانوا يتحدثون عن الذكاء الإصطناعي حيث ظهر أن أحدهم معجب براي كارزويل ونظريته

pattern recognition theory of mind (PRTM)

ولكن الأخر كان يظن أنه لا زال الذكاء الإصطناعي بعيدا عن ذكاء الإنسان وأن التداخل ما بين العقول الثلاثة (على تقسيمة  بول ماكلين) تبين أن عقل الإنسان معقد جدا وانا ما قاله راي كارزويل عن القشرة المخية الحديثة هو نوع من التقليل. أصر الأخر أن ما ينتجه الذكاء الإصطناعي لا زال بعيدا عن العقل الإنساني وبعد ذلك تكلموا عن فيلم اكس ماكينا. للأسف لم يوجد أي شخص غربي في الكافتيريا كي يصورهم وينشر في فيسبوكه "هؤلاء كانوا يتحدثون عن الذكاء الإصطناعي" ويكمل كاتبا "إذا صار لدينا مثل هؤلاء فطبعا سوف نحل المسائل التي نواجهها". نعم لم يوجد من يصورهم

السؤال هو، هل الشابين اليمنيين يعكسان الشعب اليمني؟ طبعا لا لأن الغالبية تبحث عن تخزينة (قات) وتحمل سلاحا وتريد أن تتحدث عن القبيلة وعن مكانتها في المجتمع وكيف كان الأجداد يأكلون الجمر والحديد ويشربون الصديد على أنه عصير مانجا. الذين يتحدثون عن الذكاء الإصطناعي هم أقلية الأقلية, هم الذين استطاعوا أن يفكوا أنفسهم من تمجيد الماضي والدخول في الحاضر. حتى هؤلاء الشابين اللذان يبدوا على أنهما أذكياء لا مكانة لهما في   عائلاتهم لأنهما غريبين والغريب ليس مرغوب في المجتمعات المؤدلجة ذات اللون الواحد. وفي المقابل هل ما نشره صاحبنا في الفيسبوك  هو يعكس مثلا باريس بشكل كامل؟ حتما لا. معروف أن الكثير في الغرب في ذلك العمر يريدون أن يمرحوا ويرتعوا ويملؤوا الملاهي الليلية والمراقص أو المجمعات التجارية أو ينغمسوا في الألعاب الإلكترونية. القليل هم الذين يتناقشون مفاهيم برتنارد راسل في المقاهي 

خلاصة الأمر, العلم أو الثقافة اليوم ليست محصورة لدولة دون أخرى ولكن تبقى كثير من الدول في المقدمة لأن ثقافة العلم متأصلة في بنياتهم الثقافية. الحالات الفردية التي نراها أيضا في المقاهي هي لا تعكس نمط الحياة في الدولة لأن الأشخاص يختلفون في المكان الواحد ، واستخدام عينة صغيرة على أنها تمثل دولة بأكملها نوع من الإجحاف. ليس كل يمني حامل للسلاح باحث عن التخزينة وكذلك ليس كل فرنسي مثقف يعيش في رفوف الكتب. المشكلة في كيفية الترويج للعلم قد يجعل الناس يشمئزون منها. هناك من يصور للناس أنك حتى تكون مثقفا يجب عليك أن تكون في ستارباكس وليس كافتيريا أبو عبده وهذا تصوير سطحي والمؤسف أنه يأتي من علماء في مجالات تخصصية فريدة

(A note rewrite titled “Dismay” in one of my diaries by the date 17/9/2016

At times we try to forego negative feelings, but are we the ones who have the ability to invite or to stop feelings. Our neural system is made of 10¹¹ synapses and a lot of what we experience could be approximated by what is taking place in these synapses. The degree of firing is partly affected by our mental force but it is as well the passive activity that doesn’t require our mental force that elicits what we experience. So when feelings that are tagged to be negative keep on arriving whenever you try to avoid them continue coming, one feels obliged to just embrace them and allow them to take figure within his entity for it shall be distributed and that would make its intensity fade.

The grand number of synapses is astonishing. We take in information daily and we get new neurons synapsing in daily basis. At times, things enter without being filtered and they affect our overall internal milieu. The state of our mind dictates our behavioral expression to a great degree but we should keep in mind that the matter is bidirectional. 

Convincing Illusion

After a great amount of introspection, the anthropologist E.Becker reached the conclusion that for ourselves to remain sane, we actually take a bite of this world and convince ourselves that that bite is the whole reality. When we have that bite and chew it well and get some sense of understanding of its texture, get some capacity to manipulate it, be capable of adding on it, we get the feeling that we are of central importance and by that we feel motivated to act, for motivation is what makes us function. This idea also allows us to overcome stress and hardships as we remind ourselves that we are of importance in this world. The point of just taking a bite and not trying to deal with all that is out there is an intelligent way to avoid being choked. If we try to take a big chunk we might be choked, and if we take too little, we shall remain unsatisfied. The message to be learnt is that we convince ourselves that what we took in is the most important and it is to be dealt with and by that we reach a convincing illusion.
On the other hand, from the perspective of physicists, what we see now, right now, is not now. Now is a mathematical expression of time, and by that now is not the conventional now we think it is. This might take us into a linguistic debate, but we shall keep that aside and deal with physics. Actually what we define now as now is designed by our limited mental capacities of decoding incoming sensorial information. For example, what we see is seen as light reflected from those objects, for those objects absorb some waves and reflect some and light travels to reach our eyes. Since light falls on objects at different times, so they shall reach us at different times, and by that we shall get the external information in our minds at different times and by that our NOW is not what we really think as now. To be more specific, the light reflected from objects to our eyes reach at different times if we are talking in milliseconds and nanoseconds. BUT because of our limited capacities and for convenience purposes, we don’t deal with now as physicists explain it but we deal with it the way we want it to be and the way our systems get it and process it, and by that we form a convincing illusion. Our sensorial capacity filters matters for it can’t take it all or else it shall be choked as well.
With all this, anyone can jump and argue, based on logical human grounds that if all humans are incorporated with such a system and this is how humans understand the world and interact with others, then why use the word illusion. They would argue that it is reality, to be more specific it is subjective reality rather than an illusion.
Honestly, I find this argument valid, and I have no intention to squelch it in anyway at the meantime.

Experience details

Suddenly he felt his brain narrowing, he sensed his eyes sinking in, feeling the tightness at his temples, he rested one hand on the table, and allowed the other to save his face from falling. Allowing his eyes to glare at the notes ahead of him, it seemed that reality was not ahead but perception. He started questioning his perceptions and feeling that he is fooling himself as he is bending ideas to accommodate with what is within. Perception is formed within us by taking in information from the external world, but our perceptions differ and they also differ within us at different times of the day. Our inner mechanisms allow us to understand what is out there, so it seems that our perceptions affect our perceiving apparatus and by that when we perceive what we just perceived after some time, we shall perceive it differently. Apparently we are creators who create by what is created within us by what we create out there.

He raised his hand from the table sinking his face in his palms and wondering if he could explain his feelings to anyone, then he heard an internal shout from within, “we feel alone”. He allowed his thoughts to drag each other with no direction, and wondered if our language does allow us to express what is within us or our ability of expression just narrows what is within us and gives it out blurred and marred. It seems that we are understood by others through their perceptive tools and their perceptive tools only get what we could put for them outside ourselves. He realized that these two channels downgrade what is really felt inside. This realization made his temples throb and he was feeling the pulsations that made him feel frightened. His anxiety started to peak and suddenly his leg jerked and by that he hit the stand of the table. His pain receptors send signals fast to his brain and suddenly the throbbing was all felt on his right big toe. 

لا عقلانية الأتباع في الجماعة.

الإنسان يريد التقدم حسب مفهومه للتقدم ويريد أن يتطور ويوسع دائرته المادية وأحيانا المعرفية. هو كائن منافس يريد أن يمتلك ما لا يمتلكه الأخرين أو أن يمتلك أفضل ما هو موجود حسب استطاعته. أحيانا يحاول الوصول إلى مراده بطرق غير شرعية ولكنه غالبا ما يحاول الوصول إليه وفق الأنظمة المحددة لديه لأنه يشعر بالنشوة عندما يصل لأهدافه بطريقة تسمح له أن يشعر أنه تسابق مع غيره. يحاول المرء أن يؤثر على بيئته ويريد حتى أن يتحكم بها لتكون في خدمته وتسير الأمور لصالحه. وهذه الأفعال تعكس محاولات الإنسان ليشعر بأهميته وقوته في العالم. يحاول المرء أن يشعر أن له معنى وله تأثير.

عندما لا يجد المرء البيئة التي تسمح له أن يتقدم يبدأ بالبحث عن حلول أخرى تسمح له أن يشعر بأهميته وقوته وأنه إنسان يتخطى حدوده الجسدية. إذا رجعنا وتفكرنا في حياة الطفل, نجد أنه يستمد قوته من أبيه وهو بوصاله مع أبيه يشعر أنه قوي مثل أبيه. الطفل يبالغ في ما يعرفه أبوه وما يمتلكه وبذلك يشعر الطفل بالراحة لأنه قريب من هذا الكائن القوي الفطن الذي له سطوة كبيرة على البيئة. بهذا, عندما يكبر الطفل وينطلق ولكنه يفشل أن يكون له صدى باستخدام الأدوات التي طورها منذ صغره فهنا يشعر بالهزيمة ويشعر بأنه خاوي ولا أثر له على أي شيء, فإنه قد يفكر أن يجد من يأخذ مقام أبيه في صغره. يبدأ يبحث عن ذلك الشخص القوي الذي له أثر كبير جدا ومن ثم يسقط نفسه ليكون تابعا لذلك الشخص كما كان لأبيه سابقا ومن بعد ذلك قد يشعر أنه هو أيضا قوي. هنا المدخل للجماعات اللاعقلانية.

كل إنسان له توجهات تتولد لديه بدايةً في صغره وتكبر وتتغير معه, فعندما يجد الإنسان ذلك الشخص الذي يملك مثل توجهاته ولكن بصورة قوية ومؤثرة فهنا يسقط الإنسان في سحر هذا الشخص ويعلن في داخله أنه تابعا له. هنا يبدأ الشخص في المبالغة في قوة هذا القائد, ويبدأ أن يحب كل ما يحبه القائد, وأيضا يبدأ يحب من يحبه القائد ويكره من يكرهه القائد, ومن هنا تبدأ اللاعقلانية والتبعية العمياء حيث يكون معيار الفرد ليس ما توصل إليه هو ولكن ما يراه القائد وما يشعر به القائد. يبدأ هذا المسكين برسم الخطوط العريضة فيمن هو على الصواب ومن على خطأ بناء على من يتبع القائد ومن يخالفه. مسلسل اللاعقلانية تكون شبه لا متناهية حيث ما يطلقه القائد هو الصواب وما يقبله القائد هو صحيح وما ينتقده القائد هو سيئ وما يرفضه القائد ليس مقبولا.

بهذه اللاعقلانية, يصعب محاورة أتباع المجموعات المؤدلجة لأن معيارهم لتقييم الأمور لم يعد المعيار المقبول لدى الأفراد. لا يُقَيمون الأمور حسب ما يفيد الكيان الإنساني وما سيساعد في تحسين الأمور العامة للجميع ولكن معيارهم ما سيساعد في بقاء المجموعة وما سيفيد استمرارية حياة القائد. هم لا يريدون أن يعرفوا ما يدور في الواقع لأنه لا يفيد ولكنهم يريدون أن يعرفوا أنهم سيسمعون صوت القائد الذي يجعلهم يشعرون بمعنى الحياة. حياتهم لا تعني شيء خارج الجماعة لأنها خاوية ولا صدى لها. حياتهم ليست حياة بمعنى الحياة من دون قائدهم ومجموعتهم لأنهم بدونهما لا يشعرون بشيء, لا شيء بداخلهم يمكن أن يتعاطى مع ما هو في الخارج لأن العالم الخارجي لا يعكس ما يريدون ولا يسمح لهم أن يتخطوا محدودية أجسادهم ولكن الجماعة جعلتهم يشعرون بقوتهم وتأثيرهم وذلك من خلال اتباع أوامر قائدهم الذي يرونه قوي ولامحدود. 

Subjective Reality

Reality is to be sought not in an objective manner. Evidence that is burgeoning is that that shows the relativism of many things. It is either we convince ourselves that an objective truth does indeed stand out there and by that we wring our reality tunnels to give into the concept of the presence of an objective reality and by that we jettison our reality tunnels. Is this a worthy sacrifice?

It is not clear where shall we gain unanimity, but I think that viewing unanimity to be the only path for us to remain in peace with each other is in itself a flawed idea. Every new advancement feeds our thoughts and by that we reach new realizations that allow us to assess things differently, and we should understand that we grow our mental scopes differently and by that we shall differ and always differ. 

A concept I have been finding resonating within me lately is that I can find no boredom in asking a person, whom I sense internal evolution to happen within them, the same question after one week, and attentively listen to their view. I do believe that we acquire new information that alters our tools of assessment of this world, and by that we form assessments that are ever changing as we add in more factors or we take factors from different perspectives. We use our tools of thought to understand concepts which in turn affect our tools and by that we go on. 

Not all principles deserve to be honored for some principles are the main reasons that call for stagnancy and a principle that halts any advance in human thought is and should be criticized and it should support itself against criticism and hold its place and not annihilate its critics. Providing points to support itself shall add into the pool of ideas while annihilating its opponents is a childlike tactic that makes its position weaker.   

Writing with Depth (originally written in 12/3/2016) modified and published.

Life has its intricacies and some wide themes are always there that could be traced how the intricacies arise. We are creatures that feel and think. Our thoughts are affected by how we feel and our feelings affect the thoughts that get formed in our minds.

Giving in to certain feelings without trying to lead them with some form of rationality can push us into an abysmal loss. Some times impulsivity can push us badly but how impulsive we are is dictated by many things.

We like to experience heightened feelings at times and this urge can make us fall into erroneous paths which over time may make us abnormal for society and as social beings we may feel that we can't function with people so we get to choose either get further within ourselves and continue our detachment from society or to reprioritize our lives.

With this understanding of how our mind is affected by whatever gets in, we might start to traffic the incoming information but that is not an easy task and this task alone can drain our powers at times. But with knowing what to allow and what to stop, we could be active creators of our brain maps and we could allow beneficial information to be incorporated within us which might enhance our lives.

We should also keep in mind that how we feel towards things doesn't fully say about those things as it says about our brains. The way our mental maps are created affect our understanding of what we perceive, and then our understanding dictates how we perceive the world and by that our understanding is expanded to perceive new information differently and by that we accumulate information that creates us and helps us to create more of it.

Expectations.

We form silhouettes in our brain. We live in a world that is out of our brains. I won’t get into that controversy now. We try to make what is out fit into our shadowy projections. At times we find what seems or appears to be better than the outline we crafted internally, so we automatically tarnish what is out there, but not with a bad intention. We tarnish it for it to get incorporated in our inner map.
At times, we decorate what is out there by adding imagined accessories so that we get a piece that can seat well within us. We are meant to inherently distort things, but this act is not one of distortion.

The message from nature we often ignore. The message conveyed by our bodies had to be understood, though we didn’t understand it, and we are not understanding it and we may not understand it. Maybe we do understand it but it doesn’t fit within our minds. That’s ironic since some people think that our minds are the result of our murky neurochemical soup.
The message appears to me that for something to be effective, its figure should be one that conforms to the receptor it shall fixate upon. We looked at the message from a naïve perspective and we thought it was as fitting as a lock and key, but seems we just fooled ourselves that that was the message. We fool ourselves for reasons. At times for subjective reasons. Maybe we wanted to feel in control so we said that’s how it is. The interactions are intricately complex so let’s step aside.
Expectations are built within us as we project our wishes. When we project our wishes, we do that in a certain situation. Our state of being has great effect upon our emotions which in turn affects our psychological milieu. Back to expectations. We live in a state and expect and as we seek the expectation, we add, remove, and alter factors. Our lives are in motion indeed, but not a Newtonian one. We are bound to chaotic happenings. Chaos carrying its scientific meaning.  Our lives do have some degree of being deterministic but inherent within it is aperiodicity of some form. Factors acting are constantly changing. Factors perceived to act upon us also have an effect and what one perceives at 3P.M is different from what is perceived at 7P.M after having a cup of tea. So am I calling myself and everyone else to keep our hands tied? No.

I won’t add more now. Sorry for the abrupt ending.

Reading and Learning

Notions become engrained by repeating them a lot until they become part of the neural circuitry of someone. Repeating something with attention does indeed lead to neural changes and by that creating a more present and functioning internal schema. Repeating something inattentively is nothing more than a vapid mantra that holds nothing in the external world nor in the world of your neural pathways.

I have written on this matter many times and writing on something a lot does not have to reflect that you are an expert in it but at times as you write, you get to merge some notions that once you thought they were not related in any way. After all, it is part of literary innovation to be able to find links in matters in which people couldn’t find links.

Reading and learning shouldn’t stop even if you are not expecting a certain certificate. It should be at first an act of personal enlightenment. For someone who is aware of the Kantian philosophy, one might realize that I am calling towards the same notion of having the act of learning as a goal and means in itself. It should be an act you choose to do autonomously for the sake of it itself. Adding to that, one should understand that the benefits of reading and learning follow even without the person being fully conscious of how it does manifest its benefits. Learning does indeed give us better tools of probing the world around us and being able to relate things at a higher degree. Life is different with more knowledge and more thoughts. Life is different knowing that you are sneezing because of an internal physiological happening, and still trying to understand more and probe further, from thinking that it is because your grandmother in Hadramout (a place in Yemen) is talking about you. Life is different when you realize that you are having some stress because certain expectations of yours didn’t go well, and trying to understand the situation you are in and trying to fix matters with patience and proactivity can help,  from thinking that someone in Djibouti talked about you and by that certain vibrations in the air changed sending an unseen frequency from his eyes all the way to you which alters the levels of cytokines in your body causing a higher level of CRH in your body leading to a heightened stress level.

We all have brains and we are able (sometimes even with slight abnormalities) to widen our knowledge and get more experienced. Knowledge is attracting alike matters. When you learn you get to want to learn more and by that you connect dots in a better way. You gain yourself a better understanding of how things are changing. 

Atypical Love letter

We are hardwired to fear. We get afraid because it enhances our ability to look for signals of what might happen. It allows us to perceive threats at a higher level. Fear makes us decrease the threshold of reaction to expected threats. We might lose ourselves, building defenses upon perceived threats.

Disruption of patters is stressful and it induces fear. We like to find pattern and specifically patterns that are subject to our predictions. When we understand a pattern, we then try to understand possible disruptions that might happen to that pattern as that allows us to be ready to deal with the disruption. The life of someone we love is put under deep scrutiny for many reasons. Love is one for sure and the marvels you find upon your lover is quite interesting and still something extremely astounding. The neurobiology of love is far from being understood, since numerous factors are in play. You just try to explore your lover in many ways. Turn them into a maze that is interesting for exploration. Turn them into an encrypted code and try to decode them. You do that in a manner different from that cryptographers do. You do it with no irritation. You do it without pulling your hair when you feel that you just can’t comprehend further.

Another reason. At times maybe we fear that some things might go wrong with us or maybe we might appear pale at the eyes of our lover. People who think a lot, try to understand what might happen before hand and they do that with a high level of focus.

When someone tries to understand what might happen, that means they are just good planners and they want to formulate a reaction or a way to survive that expected happening. We live in a world with many open possibilities and everything is to some extent possible and some things are just so improbable that we think that they never exist. Situations as well are subject to the same probabilistic rules, and the potentiality of something may lie dormant for so long.

Interactions between things are what causes things to appear and disappear and the ever going interaction, which is at the very microscopic level to be considered a Brownian motion, is what causes things to manifest themselves or hide themselves. Thank God we are living in the seen world and what we see, hear, listen, understand, form the tip of the iceberg.

Human interactions are indeed nonlinear and finding a single causal effect is a simplification that actually serves our minds. We simplify things to feel that we are in control and we are creators of our situations. Many factors are having effect upon our interactions, some which we could enumerate, while others which we can’t consciously express, but we should remember that the inability to explain doesn’t nullify the existence of a phenomenon. It is just our limitations within our limitless capacity. Excitingly paradoxical I know.

So posing the question of “what if something extremely heinous happens to me, would you still be who you are, Love?”

This question is repeated in many love scenarios and it strikingly manifests the underlying fear instilled in every human. We fear detachment during the times that we are in most need of attachment. Contemplating on this question for long pushes someone into a protective mode trying to ponder upon survival modes to take on, if something bad happens, and also if the bad thing gets doubled. Our minds realize that everything is ephemeral and we question even the most genuine sentiments because we are sure they are also subject to be nothing more than temporary. Our minds struggle to stop times at moments. We feel that that moment is heavenly and we never want it to go away. We feel a certain feeling and we never want it to mitigate. We are absurd. We realize that things are temporary and we understand that but we waste a lot of mental effort trying to make things permanent, and when we fail doing so, we just take another step and try to extend the duration of something. But are we capable of doing that or we are just putting effort in the wrong place. Keep thinking, there is a lot to say. … … … 

I am no Megalomania

We all learn every now and then and the acquisition of information is constant within our lives. When we learn, new connections are made in our brains and by that we develop a slightly different outlook upon things compared to the time before the learning. But is that all that could be said about learning? No for sure. Saying that someone learnt something is indeed a hard thing to do because people may keep some information within them but at a detached distance and they make it have no effect within them at all, but they know it is there. So, is this learning? Think about it.

Okay, this is a factoid that is easily written but hard to implement and it is, if you want to allow something to pass into your LTM (long term memory) and by that it shall have effect upon your general understanding of things, then whenever you acquire any information try to connect it to your schema. (There you go, you just acquired the key to ever growing memory) 

When we learn, we actually start knowing more things about things and by that we form new categories and categories that were differenct before start to overlap and a lot happens. At times, we experience that internal EUREKA I found it out, and it may be due to an extensive change within the informational organization within us. Suddenly, we feel so pushed to go and share what we just realized and a strong enthusiastic surge within us grows in a rather beautifully absurd way.

There is some feeling of joy when you learn things and connect dots that others might not be able to connect. We all do this spatial connection differently as the patterns of information within our brains are arranged differently and at different loci. When I do my connections, I start feeling that I am more knowledgeable than many people and I feel superior. By that, when I meet people, I really sense their inferiority towards me and I feel as if I am special and they are just common dudes.

Yes, I am no megalomania, so if you just read about megalomania some days ago or months and you just felt that I am a good candidate for your internal categorization, then that is a hasty move. Some people just feel happy to start categorizing people and dealing with people based on their internal categorization which is affected by their inclinations, proclivities, and many other factors.( work out the pronouns and antecedents alone ) 

Sometimes, the process of putting people into categories is to make sure that we studied our lessons well. Yeah, you studied well to point out that I am a megalomania but you forgot that categorization could slip you into bad generalizations yet it is hard not to slip into that. At times, you like to feed your ego by attacking people saying that they just want to feed their egos while indeed you are the one who has an empty ego that is being fed. How absurd? You allocate certain anomalies for people  while you go on happy with your good powers of tagging. Anyway, go get some things to entertain your mind, and if it appears satiated, then you gotta entertain something else. 

أنت موجود وأنا موجود.

ألا نستطيع أن نعيش معا. هل يستطيع شخصين يحملون وجهات نظر مختلفة أن يعيشوا سويا؟ إذا نظرنا من حولنا سنجد أننا نعيش معا ونختلف عن بعض في كثير من التفاصيل ولكن في مجتماعتنا لا نختلف كثيرا في الأشياء العامة جدا ولهذا صار المجتمع يسمى مجتمعا لأن المجتمع يتكون من أفراد يحملون أفكار متشابهة عن الحياة. في السابق كان أفراد المجتمع يتشابهون كثيرا لأن مصادر المعلومات لديهم كانت محددة جدا وأما اليوم فمصادر المعلومات لدينا مختلفة جدا. نعم كلنا نستخدم الإنترنت ولكن كل منا في عالمه في عالم النت وبهذا بإمكان الشخص أن يغذي فرديته وسط المجتمع ويحمل أفكار مختلفة جدا عن من حوله وهو يعيش معهم. هل هذا موجود؟ نعم بكل تأكيد لأننا في عصر ثورة الإتصالات وفي هذا العصر لا يفكر الإبن على طريقة جده ولا يلزم عليه ذلك وحتى لو استخدم القوة تجاهه فبإمكانه أن يخادع أنه مع الفكر العام وعندما يكون مع نفسه فهو يطور أفكاره بطريقة مختلفة جدا.

ولكن هل بإمكان الأفكار المتعارضة أن تبقى في المجتمع وهي متعارضة بشكل كامل؟ يحدث أحيانا ولكن ليس دائما. الأفكار لا تتصارع لأنها تنظيرات ولكن العواقب العملية هي التي تتصارع وأحيانا أصحاب فكرة معينة قد يصارعون عواقب متوقعة من فكرة أخرى ويبدؤوا بالهجوم على فكرة معينة وهي ليست خطرا على أفكارهم ولكنهم يتوقعون من تلك الأفكار أن تبيد أفكارهم. إذن, لدينا بارانويا فكرية. ولكن لماذا؟ لكل منا الحق أن يفكر ويحاول أن يعرف لماذا وهناك أطروحات كثيرة جدا لماذا لدينا هذا البارانويا.
عواقب الأفكار حقا تتصارع في بعض الأحيان ولكن ذلك الصراع مفيد وليس سيء أبدا. عندما تتصارع عواقب الأفكار في الجو الفكري العام, يحاول أصحاب الأفكار أن يعدلوا من أفكارهم حتى تلائم مجتمعهم وتكون مفيدة وحتى يقبلها الأخرين. الصراع يبين نقاط القوة ونقاط الضعف لكل فكرة ولهذا تتقوى في إطار الصراع.

إذن, أنت موجود وأنا موجود وكل في إطار عمله وفكره وعواقب أفكارك تحاول توجيه أفكاري وكذلك عواقب أفكاري تحاول توجيه أفكارك, وهذا كل في ظل متسامح وليس في مكان إقصائي

لا نستطيع أن نتخلص من أفكارنا المقربة إلينا.

نتعلم من مجتمعاتنا أشياء كثيرة والمجتمع يحدد حتى ما سوف ننجذب نحوه في المستقبل. ليس من السهل أن تكره ما نشأت أن تحب. الأشياء التي صارت جزء من شخصياتنا ليس من السهل أن تتغير بسهولة, وعندما تتغير نشعر أننا دخلنا عالم جديد وغريب وأحيانا مخيف. لو كنت في مجتمع يحب أكل اللحم وأنت أحببت أكل اللحم كذلك فليس من السهل أن تترك تناول اللحم فقط لأن بعض الدراسات تقول أن تناول اللحم بكميات كبيرة قد تجعلك أكثر عرضة لبعض الأمراض.

أفكارنا كذلك صارت جزءا من شخصياتنا. سيقول أحد الأشخاص الذين يعشقون الموضوعية ,ويهجمون على من لا يريد أن يتخلى عن بعض الأفكار فقط لأنه يحب الأفكار ولكن لا يستطيع أن يثبتها بطريقة منطقية, سيقول لك لا تحكم على الأشياء بالعاطفة وكن شخصا موضوعيا, وكأن هناك زر تضغط عليه حتى تصبح موضوعيا أو غير ذلك.

من أكبر الصعوبات لدينا هو التخلص من الأفكار التي نشأنا عليها حتى ولو كانت غير صالحة لحياتنا. التمسك ببعض الأفكار يجعلنا نشعر بالمعنى الوجودي. ليس من السهل أن نتخلى عن معاني الحياة التي نشأنا عليها.

صحيح أن بإمكاننا أن نتأقلم مع الحياة بشكل جديد ونكون علاقات فكرية جديدة ونحاول أن نغذي هذه الأفكار بالمعاني التي قد تجعلنا نشعر بوجود كياننا , ولكنها ستكون هشة مقارنة مع ما نشأنا عليه أو ستكون كذلك في البداية ومع الوقت قد تتحصل على بعض الصلابة.

من الطبيعي أن نتمسك ببعض الأفكار التي تفيدنا وتجعلنا نشعر ببعض الراحة ولكن لنحرص على أن تكون هذه الأفكار مفيدة للإنسانية. من الخطأ أن نتسمك بأفكار قد تدفعنا لظلم الأخرين أو تشويه سمعة الأخرين أو حتى أخذ بعض حقوق الأخرين. من الخطأ أن نتمسك بأفكار تحدد من حياة الأخرين وتصغر من الأخرين. ليس من حق أحد أن يحدد لنا ما نريد أن نشعر تجاه الأشياء وليس من حقنا كذلك. إذن, نحن فقط من يختار أن يحدد قناعاته ويعيش عليها. القناعات التي ستفيدنا وتفيد من يعيش معنا. 

حتى العلم قد يستخدم لأغراض أخرى!!

وجد نفسه بليدا في حواسه, ولا يشعر بشيء تجاه أي شيء. سمع أحدهم يتكلم عنه بسوء ولكنه لم يشعر بأي شعور تجاهه, حتى عنفه المعروف عنه لم يظهر. حرك جسمه واستغرب أن بإمكانه تحريك جسده فلماذا لم يتولد بداخله أي شيء تجاه هذا أو ذاك. فجأة سمع صوتا مزعجا ولكنه لم يشعر بأي ذعر ولكنه حاول أن يعرف مصدر الصوت. اتجه صوب النافذة, كان الأمر مريعا ما يشاهده أمامه ولكن الأمر بدا كذلك بكيفية تشكل الأشياء التي يراها والأشخاص الموجودون في المكان ولكنه لم يشعر أن الأمر مهيب. لم يشعر أن الأمر مخيف أو مقلق.

في ستينيات وسبعينيات القرن الماضي, طرح بعض الجراحون النفسيين حلا لإزالة العنف من المجتمع. كانوا من جامعة هارفارد وكان الحل عنيفا وعلميا ولا زال مستخدما ولكن بقلة جدا. قبل أن نخوض في الحل لتكن لدينا بعض المعلومات حتى نفهم ما كانوا يقومون به.

 الدكتور والعالم العصبي بول ماكلين, طرح نموذجا للعقل يسمى العقل الثلاثي وبذلك يقسم العقل إلى ثلاث أقسام. العقل الذي نشترك فيه مع الزواحف وهو الذي يتحكم بالوظائف الجسمية المهمة مثل التنفس وضربات القلب, الخ. ثم لدينا ما يسمى بالفص الحوفي وهو ما يسمى بالإنجليزي "ليمبك سيستم" وهو معقد جدا وهنا أساس المشاعر. فعندما يقول الشخص أن العقل يفكر والقلب يشعر, في الحقيقة العقل الذي يشعر هو هذا الجزء والذي يفكر هو الجزء الثالث وهي القشرة الحديثة.

بهذا, يجب أن نعرف جيدا أن الفص الحوفي مكون من أجزاء كثيرة ومتداخلة بطريقة عجيبة وأيضا هناك ترابط مبهر بين الأجزاء الثلاثة. إذا نظرنا بدقة أكثر في الفص الحوفي سنجد "الأميقدالا" أو كما تمت ترجمت الكلمة إلى "لوزة المخيخ". هذا الجزء مسؤول عن إعطائنا القدرة على الشعور بالخوف, القلق, الإضطراب, كذلك إظهار العدائية والعنف.(عمل هذا الجزء لا ينحصر على ما ذكر بل هو مهم في أشياء كثيرة جدا ولا زال عقل الإنسان وكذلك عقول الحيوانات أهداف لكثير من الأبحاث ودائما ما نزيد إنبهارا عن ما يتوصل إليه العلماء في شتى مجالاتهم.) بعض مرتكبي الجرائم البشعة من غير تفسير منطقي, يظهر عند بعضهم وجود ورم في هذا الجزء إثر تشريحهم بعد الموت.

ما طرحه الجراحيين النفسيين (فيرنون مارك:جراح أعصاب و فرانك إرفن: طبيب نفسي)  من هارفارد كان مخيفا, والشعور الذي قد يتولد لديك ,عند معرفة أنهم قالوا أنه من الجيد استئصال هذا الجزء من المخ عند الذين يظهرون بعض العدائية كحلا للعنف, هو شعور بالقلق والذي لا يستطيع أن يشعر به من تم إجراء هذه العملية عليه. توصلوا إلى ذلك بعد أن قاموا بتجارب على بعض الحيوانات ولاحظوا أن مستوى العنف عند هذه الحيوانات تنخفض بشكل ملحوظ جدا أو حتى تختفي. بالمعلومات التي كانت لديهم, كانوا يأملون أن يقللوا العنف والعدائية الخارجة عن السيطرة في الذين يعانون بالصرع الذي يتولد في الفص الصدغي.

ما هو مخيف حقا أن مع مرور الوقت, بعض المحاكم كانت تمرر أحكاما بإجراء عمليات مفروضة قانونيا على بعض المتهميين أنهم يظهرون العنف أوفي داخلهم عنف كامن قد ينفجر في أي وقت بطريقة مخيفة. وهذه الخطوة مخيفة جدا وخاصة عندما تكون سلطة القانون في أيدي من لا يجيدون العلم ولهم أهدافهم الخاصة. يعلق روبرت سابولسكي قائلا أن هذه العمليات الجراحية قد تخفض من مستوى العنف وتخفض من كيانك الإنساني بشكل هائل وقد لا تبدوا إنسانا حتى.

العلم هدفه البحث ومحاولة إيجاد أفضل الوسائل لتقويم ما قد يبدوا أعوجا وتحسين ما هو قابل للتحسين, ولكن العلم كغيره عندما يستخدم لغرض التحكم بالناس أو تطبيع نمط واحد على المجتمع قد يستخدم في غير موضعه وقد يستخدمه من لا يعرف العلم حتى ولكنه وجد شيئا يتكئ عليه حتى يستمر في قمعه.

لا يزال الجدل مستمرا حول استخدام هذه الأساليب في العلاج السلوكي بقبول من المريض. كثير من علماء الأعصاب وكذلك علماء النفس لا ينصحون بمثل هذه العمليات الجراحية لعلاج بعض السلوكيات الغير مرغوب بها إلا إذا ظهر ورم خبيث وظهر أن المكشلة قد تتضاعف بقوة. عدد العمليات الجراحية التي تهدف لإزالة لوزة المخيخ قليلة جدا وتقوم بها مراكز حول العالم حتى في علاج بعض أنواع الصرع وحتى الوسواس القهري.  

My days with the book "A General Theory of Love"

It was informative, lovely, enthralling, entertaining, motivational, sadness-inducing, and wonderful. Its poetic artsy language was highly engaging. The amount of knowledge within it is a gem that can’t be easily found, put in such a way. Understanding our neurology and how our brain is formed makes one realize a lot. It gave me the capacity to analyze older notions on psychology including the theory of psychoanalysis, whether the way it was concocted by Freud or Lacan. It made me understand the notions of Victor Frankl, with more depth, as I was reading the book “Man’s search for meaning” in the same days. 

Understanding how meaning could be willfully formulated by our neocortex, but just remain a detached notion, until it sinks into our limbic brain that we feel the meaning and that is by repetition and deep introspection. If we are able to create some form of synchronicity between the two parts, we would have better experiences of what is around us, and dissonance would diminish. At times we find ideas to be a threat because they find way into our neocortex, that deals with facts from a detached perspective, but when these ideas try to find way deep inside, our limbic brain cringes.

Our brains function differently but they are all wired together. Cogitation is exclusive for our neocortex and understanding a fact and explaining it to someone is done by the functions of our neocortex. Experiencing life and feeling something towards life is done by the function of our limbic system. Experiencing life and expressing it in words is a delicate play between the two brains. “Remove the neocortex, and most mammals shall raise their young, do a limbectomy and see how nonchalant they become”. We also have our reptilian part which is exclusive for bodily physiological functions.

The emphasis on how our limbic brain has its role upon our relations was a mind-opening notion, since emotions are cruelly bashed by our current world. We are creatures that depend upon each other since our emotions resonate and get amplified by other fellow humans who are closely connected to us. We shall remain so as long as we have our limbic system within us. We shall fall in love. We shall experience the divinely inner alterations and glorify the person we love, and we shall feel badly bruised when we break up. With a limbic system, we yearn to attach and we cry when we get detached from an existence that was attached to us.

Establishing a healthy limbic brain which is done by the presence of deeply supportive parents, especially mothers, shall create a mind that is healthy and more resistant towards stress and many other disruptions within the psyche. Infants get their neural network designed by their initial environment. The blueprints are laid down by the people whom have the power within his brain, mostly its parents, specifically the mother.

Many studies support the idea that great amount of support towards a dependent small creature makes it armored with a greater capacity to be independent in its later life, and carrying a baby that is crying is not in any way a path of spoiling it.

Understanding that our current racing culture has lost meaningful attachment due to many reasons. We have been taught to consume and change everything. We have been taught that what doesn’t sparkle has no use anymore. Due to this, we took this notion into the realm of our relations and we today think that if the frenzy electrical feeling fades within our romantic relations then we are not loving anymore. A great differentiation between being “in love” and “loving” has been made. The former similar to infatuation, the later similar to deeply connected love. Who wants a perpetual electrical feeling that is built upon superficial matters should in no way seek a long-term relation. Sadly some people have no stable limbic structures that want a long-term relation. Some have severed connections making them get entertained by severed connections being so unstable. 

Our current world functions upon the neocortex allowing little for the limbic brain and this has many disadvantages but I think there are some advantages as well. If we would live by our dispositions, we would be pushed to commit heinous crimes at times due to our beliefs, but suspending the power of our limbic system does allow objectivity to come in, but our limbic brains can never be suspended, so we can never by fully objective beings. Our limbic brain is there for millions of years compared to the neocortex which is there for hundreds of thousands of years and that makes the power of the limbic brain become stickier within us. 

The book implicitly shades light upon the notion that some things could exist that are serving and deceiving us at the same time. Notions could serve us but they deceive us and because we are emotional beings we would get attached to what serves us and not pay too much attention if it is deceiving us as long as we feel that it has fulfilled our need.

The beautiful ending, "While we can not alter the nature of love, we can choose to defy its dictates or thrive within its walls. Those with the wisdom to do so will heed their hearts and draw strength from their relatedness, and they will raise their children to do likewise."

I prefer boiled eggs! Preferences are not objective.

The breeze was so gentle and it didn’t urge the person breathing the air to wear heavy clothes. The chilly sensation it imparted upon the skin was so subtle that it was making you feel that you shall experience a chilly cold but you don’t feel it. The cup of coffee they were sipping seemed to balance the equation making it not get skewed towards one direction.

“So you think we humans like to hang around those who are similar”, she asked, opening her bright eyes, and touching her cup as she finished her sentence.

“Yeah, we find security around those who are so similar, for that actually allows our brains to save energy of not probing in the differences of others. Some studies show that even people who marry try to find those who share a lot of things with them, including political stands”, he replied.

“But I think that being around people who are not so similar to me, allows me to reflect more upon myself, as I get to know how people holding different values think of me. I think that gives me the capacity of being reflective upon myself from different perspectives other than my own, or that of people who think like I do”, she added after short seconds from listening to what he said.

“I think people of different perspectives cause stress”, he told her.

“But why would they cause stress”, she replied.

“Because you might find them to be holding certain things which you find so absurd and when you try to point at the absurdity of those beliefs which lead to certain behaviors, they might find you to be the one who is absurd”, he said, “that’s how I feel”.

“But should we build a certain form of resilience to not be stressed”, she replied back.

“I think they stress me because they look at my words as a threat rather than a different perspective”, he said, “Variety of ideas is nice but when someone holds an idea of aiming to change you then that person is a threat. I like people who have different ideas on matters but they don’t deem yours wrong and theirs right. For example, if I am married and my bro is married and I think that it is cool to play table-tennis with my wife while he finds it to be not preferable, then that is normal, but if he thinks that he has the objective of correcting me telling me that what I am doing is wrong without presenting valid reasons then that is absurd.” He sipped a little of his coffee and continued, “I think it is a preference and I could talk with my brother on the benefits of playing with her or not but mere presentations of preferences without underlying reasons to be discussed seems not right for me”.

“Yeah, it is a matter of preference and having preferences is not wrong or right”, she replied with a smile as she was amused by the example.

“You know, if I just say I like boiled eggs over “shakshouka” ( eggs with tomato cooked I don’t know how but it is easy) and you say the opposite and we just debate on our likings without expressing why, then we would waste time”, he added another example to make his point clearer and amuse her further.

“hahahaha, your comparisons are adorable and apropos”, she uttered the words mixed with a laugh. 

العنف في السياق الصحيح!

على عادته, أستيقظ على صوت المنبه. عندما يسمع صوت المنبه فهو يعرف أن وقت النوم قد انتهى ويوم جديد قد بدأ ولكن هل هو حقا يوم جديد أو تكرار يوم أخر. ذلك يعتمد على وجهة نظره وهو لم يفصح عن ذلك بعد. لم يغير شيء, فهو يقوم بالأعمال الروتينية كل صباح وكأنه آلة ولكنه آلة ذكية فعندما تتكلم معه تعرفه جيدا. يجب على المرء أن يقوم ببعض الأشياء في حياته حتى يوفر الساحة التي بإمكانه أن يطور الصفات الأخرى لديه. مرت ساعة ونصف. دقائق قليلة ويصل إلى مقر عمله, لم تبقى إلى إشارة واحدة وبعدها سيشعر أنه قد وصل. يفضل الإستماع إلى بعض الفلاسفة أو الموسيقى في الصباح وهو ذاهبا إلى العمل. كان منغمسا مع كلمات ألن واتس وفجأة شعر بدفعة قوية واختلت كل الموازين لديه وكذلك الموازين الفكرية, لقد صدمه أحد من الخلف. نزل من سيارته ونزل ذلك الشخص مسرعا إليه وبدأ يعتذر بسرعة وقال لا تقلق سنتصل على المسؤولين ليقيموا كل تفاصيل الحادث, أعتذر أن وقتك سيضيع في هذا ولكن هذا الذي حدث ولا يمكننا أن نرجع بالأحداث إلى الوراء. كان لينفجر على ذلك الشخص, ولكن مرت الأحداث بسرعة في ذهنه, إذا أبديت عصبيتي فذلك لن يفيد فقد قال كل شيء هذا المتسرع الأح.... لا هو ليس كذلك. رد على الشخص, إذن سأنتظر في سيارتي إلى أن يأتي المسؤولون.

بعد أسبوع, استيقظ على عادته وذهب إلى العمل. كان يتوقع من موظف التسويق أن يكون قد تحدث مع الشركات التي قد تكلم معه عنها. كان يسوف العمل ذلك الموظف, وكان من المفترض أن يسلم تقريرا عن رد فعل تلك الشركات قبل اسبوع ولكنه كان يظن أن مديره ليس جادا في الأمر لأنه كان يتعاطى معه باحترام ويقبل منه أعذاره. في ذلك اليوم, أقعد ذلك الموظف ووبخه توبيخا وأعطاه درسا في احترام الوقت واحترام من يحترمه كإنسان ومبادلة الإحترام بدلا من عدم المبالاة عندما يكون الشخص محترما معك.

ضروب من ظواهر العدوانية في السياق الصحيح قد تكون مستلزمة. يقول روبرت سابولسكي أننا كائنات لها نزعة طبيعية نحو العنف ولكن العنف في السياق قد يكون مفيدا جدا والعنف خارج السياق والذي يستخدم من غير قواعد ليس مفيدا أبدا. عندما نستخدم العنف المقونن بهدف فرض ظواهر إنسانية راقية قائمة على التعاون و التسامع وعدم القمع فبذلك يفرح الناس بوجود هذا النوع من العنف. تحديد الأهداف المرادة في العمل مثلا, ومن بعد ذلك استخدام بعض ظواهر العدوانية لتقوييم المسوفيين في العمل قد يكون مفيدا للشركة بشكل عام ولكنه قد يؤلم من هو ضحية التوبيخ. 

Not everything gets coalesced on command! I am in your eyes!

It is the end of the month. I did a lot. I didn’t do a lot. Life is moving in many directions but how can something move in many directions at the same time. But life might be different from other things. Is life a thing? Could we compare life to other things that follow a certain track. Seems that we have been mistaken to picture life as having a single direction. Life is fluid it seems, but it also appears at times that it has a direction. Many conflicting and complementary ideas have been blurring his focus of thoughts. People think that having ideas leads to clearer paths, but I think such people have never studied math. Having ideas makes the idea of approximating ideas more urgent. Things start to lack clarity and people start to focus on the degree of probability rather than certainty. He left his room, finding his way into another room, as he read that changing the environment allows one to make different choices, or maybe even allows different sensations to get into existence within, and by that allow different ideas to come forward.

Not everything gets coalesced on command. A powerful idea that was imparted upon him as he was reading. Our emotions are not formed by command. Emotions are in very different realms. We can try to compare their formation within us as the skill we get as we learn how to ride a bicycle. We can’t gather students in a class and show them how to ride, and by that have them all riding their bicycles. It was not an easy time for his brother to learn how to ride a bike. I want to be adept in using that tool. This too doesn’t get into oneself by command. I want to start learning one word per day, that gets into command if you could move your body and start it, but you won’t be able to speak Swahili fluently today, you will be able after a while. The will towards the path is then under our command, but the end result is never formed by command. We can draw paths, outline matters, and enlist ideas, but we can’t live those paths, go through those matters, absorb those ideas and understand them BY COMMAND.

Not everything gets coalesced on command. He shouted in his room, “I am feeling desperate”, his mother called him and told him don’t feel desperate. He told himself I don’t want to feel desperate, but he continued feeling that despair deep inside.

Not everything gets coalesced on command. He looked in her eyes, “I feel myself inside you”, but she told him earnestly, trying to teach him independence, “Don’t feel you are in my eyes, you are out there”. He told himself I am not in her eyes, but he continued feeling that he dwells in her eyes.

Not everything gets coalesced on command. 

Don't try to control all Knobs. You shall be Overwhelmed!!!

Don’t try to control all knobs. You shall be overwhelmed.

We are creatures that seek control over situations we are involved in. We start paying deep attention into how scenarios disclosed upon our lives, we then realize that indeed we have some control. We then start controlling or try to control our demeanors in coming situations with the aim of reaching a certain desired outcome. We, at first, feel so successful in doing that and we like it and continue doing that.

We then start working on our emotions as we like certain emotions over others in different contexts. So, we seek control over our emotions but we realize that it is really hard, not as easy as the external mechanical world. We feel frustrated and develop a heightened pedantic nature of analysis and probe our emotions deeper trying to control them. We feel badly agitated since we are unable to do it. We feel sad when we want to feel good. We find ourselves desperate when we want to feel hopeful. We can’t feel touched when we want to feel touched. We feel detached when we want to feel connected and we feel connected when we want to feel detached. Chaos lurks in.

If we are among those who are adamant and don’t get convinced easily, we don’t give up, but we ask why? We then struggle and go against our inner torrent with the aim of understanding what is it that triggers that when I don’t it to be triggered or what is it that doesn’t get triggered when I want it to be triggered. Puzzling indeed. Some of us come to realize that what evokes emotionality is all out there and part is processed in here. This sentence in itself explains that it is not possible to be explained. Everything around us gets into us through our senses, gets processed within us, and this processing is a lot. A lot. Hard to explain, probably improbable to explain. After the processing in our systems, something happens, an output is created. We feel what we want to feel or what we don’t want to feel or what we don’t know how to express. We then try to point at what evokes a certain feeling and we get to understand some things. We start realizing and understanding. We put control upon external things, putting limitations on what could gain access within us and what is not allowed.

They say that we should at least convince ourselves that something caused another thing instead of many things caused something. If we say that something that caused something, we feel in control at pointing at that thing, but if we say many things caused something and we know few of them then we feel out of control, and that is not a good feeling I guess. Even if we are unable to understand all factors acting in the creation of a situation or an emotion, we should still point at factors we feel are the creators and we should work on them. Actually, it is evident that indeed everything is subject to many factors but the effects of factors vary and some factors are so critical in creating an outcome and changing that single factor can cause dramatic alterations since the other factors are mere noises in the background.

Being so harsh upon ourselves is really badly harsh. We reprimand our beings that deserve empathy. We admonish ourselves of not being able to reach places while we forget that we couldn’t control all buttons. We then find ourselves losing more control over our feelings, situations, and even our own beings. We end up in a state of punishing ourselves while trying to feel not being punished. We push ourselves into a state of being completely fucked up. 

I want to respect societal guidelines!

We want to express what is within us and in the right context and when the context is not provided, we get urges to express it in seemingly abnormal contexts. Everyone wants to create a good life he thinks about and when many hindrances come ahead of the person, that person shall either try to slowly change the situation or the person shall burst in a very abrupt manner ruining the paths of others too since his path is ruined. Everyone appears insane in the eyes of others who are not really feeling what this person is feeling and you rarely find a person who is ready to try to understand you. People who are so respectful to their cultural contexts shall actually try to straighten any person who seems to express behaviors that don’t align what has already been outlined. We indeed remain social beings and we automatically take into consideration what people think and we actually will and love to express to people and even try to justify our actions, but when we realize that people shall judge us and try to fix us, that’s when we start to seek ways that don’t align with what people think is right and one starts to form his own guidelines. IF society shall respect us, we are ready to respect it fully. If society understands that we are different and we are not entitled to be blind slaves, then we are ready to justify and explain. Society is where we grow and where we will to grow, so when we find that society is nothing more than a hindrance, how weird is it for us to follow it after that. I actually think that a person, who is not happy with the dictations of society, yet that person forces himself to obey every single guideline put down by society, is suffering with an internal pile of dissonance. Such people turn out to be so hard to understand since they just deal with situations casa-by-case for society is trying to coerce the functionality of thought to be limited. 

Hey! Look at your face, looks like a criminal.

Every act that has a polish of force has the potential of being a threat at any time. Anything that is achieved by force shall build up a reservoir of a dormant power to counter it. The countering power may not arise now, but it shall build, and it is also subject to mitigation by other means. As force is used further, the countering force shall as well accrue.

People hail science to always be away from the usage of force but it has done a lot with force, but what is beautiful in science is that it allows internal modification and it corrects itself as it advances. I am not talking about the realm of physics where people measure force, but I am talking about force used upon humans while using science as the support of that action. Actually racism in its most heinous forms has been performed by the eugenicists who built up their ideas upon social Darwinism, fully against the empathetic nature of Charles Darwin. Though this is not my topic.

Physiognomy which is the analysis of a person’s character based on his external appearance has been something that drew a lot of intellectuals a long while ago. Yes, a very long while ago. In the 19th century, there was a criminologist who was so determined that he shall come up with the typical criminal face. He aimed to then publish his work for everyone so people should be more cautious as they meet people if they tend to look like the prototype of criminality. By that people could also deduce the faces that are more acceptable and avoid criminals. HOW BIASED COULD THAT BE? He gathered the photos of criminals and used a way to overlap them. As he did that, he unknowingly increased the symmetry of the created face and when he showed it to people for them to provide their impression about the photos, they would say “Wow, this person is good looking”.

Besides this conclusion and how things went on, we realize that the ones who were into science, at least if we define science as a set of observations recorded to build knowledge and by that create means to function better in the world, were the ones who wanted to come up with very dangerous and vacuous conclusions. However, it is well known that symmetry is a sign of beauty and our primitive minds feel that people with symmetrical faces are healthier, even babies, by the age of two months, prefer to look at people with more symmetrical faces compared to others.

Till today though, at least in the areas away from science, we find many people who conclude that someone is bad or good just based on their external appearance. Here, I am not pointing at the attitude of the person, neither the behavior of the person, nor the different facial expressions or the tone of the voice. The matter addressed here is just the grimace of a person with no dynamic alteration, but as it is still, and unmoving.

If there was a system that was built upon this assessment, what kind of society would we have? Actually, we do assess people upon their grimaces but we don’t have the right to assign someone the tag of criminality but if there was a governmental system that would approve such vacuous introspection, it would even push people to be more superficial than how they are. It would create humans who are so on the surface that many actions would be altered just based on that. Happily it was science itself that showed that such thing is utter bullshit. Utter bullshit. 

كلمات عفوية. جمل تلقائية. دار في ذهني

للإنسان عقل متقدم جدا حيث نجد القشرة الحديثة كبيرة جدا وهذا يعكس أن بإمكاننا التحكم بغرائزنا. نشترك مع الكثير من الحيوانات في تركيبة العقل في الأجزاء الأخرى. لكن حقا كما قال أحدهم أننا البشر... أو ما يجعلنا مختلفين عن الحيوانات هي تلك اللحظة... تلكم الثواني... بين العامل المثير وبين استجابتنا... هنا العمل... وهنا تدخل المجتمع بغير وجه حق. نرى البعض يستجيب وبكل سهولة لأي مثير ونرى الأخر يأخذ وقتا أطول ولكنه يستجيب كذلك ونرى من يحاول التخلص من الإثارة بالقوة ونرى من يتحكم بنفسه ونرى من يعرف أن ليس بإمكانه التخلص من جميع المثيرات, إذن باستخدام قشرته الجديدة, يكون له طريق ويحدد ماذا يريد في هذه المتاهة الصعبة ومن ثم ينطلق بعد ذلك بطريقته وبمحض إرادته.

الإنسان يقوم حياته على اللغة وللغة قوة لا يتصورها من لم يتفكر في قوتها وقد يستغرب البعض أن للغة هذه القوة. الدلالات الثقافية تحدد حتى نوعية المثيرات الجنسية التي قد تثير الشخص. هل لازالت الثقافة تملك هذه القوة ولكن ما هي الثقافة بعد ثورة الإتصالات؟ أين نحن, ومالذي يحدد دلالاتنا اللغوية؟ لم نعد نستمع لذلك الجد الذي يجمعنا كل مساء ويحكي لنا بطولاته ويتنقى قصصه كي يبدوا رائعا وهو في الحقيقة كان صعلوكا في شبابه. 
لم نعد تحت قوة الإنتقاء المهذب الذي يظن أن بهذه الطريقة قد نفرز جيلا نقيا وهو في الأصل يفرز جيلا سطحيا ساذجا يتعاطى مع ما يدور في روعه بسذاجة. قال احدهم... لا اذكر اسمه... يبدوا أنني من نفس الجماعة التي تذكر العبارات ولا تذكر قائلها وهذه طريقة لتمرير بعض العبارات التي تتناسب مع أفكارنا بطابع راقي... لأننا عرفنا أننا لسنا في ذلك المكان الذي بإمكاننا أن نقول كل شيء والكل يصدق... ابتكرنا طريقة جديدة وهي أن نقول شيئا ونقول أن أحد العظام قالها... نعم نحن ليس من العظماء... لا يهمني ذلك كثيرا... أنت كقارئ من حقك أن ترى كل كلامي هذا مجرد هراء ولكني أذكر أني قرأت عبارة ومعناها أن من أراد حقا أن يتعرف على الأخرين, فاليتعمق في ذاته بعيدا عن ماذا يتوقعه الناس منه. فاليكتب ماذا يريد حقا وليقرأ نفسه... إعرف نفسك بعيدا عن الناس وحاول أن تتعاطى مع نفسك وبعمق وبعد ذلك حاول أن تعرف الأخرين وسوف تعرفهم بقدر ما تعرف نفسك.

لدينا إمكانية التحكم  بغرائزنا ولكن هل نمتلك ذلك حقا بشكل كامل... لا أعرف ولا أظن لأن العوامل ,التي تدفع الشخص لتقبل شخص وللشعور بذلك الشعور الذي يقربك من المثير, كثيرة جدا تبدأ من البيولوجي والعصبي ومن ثم مستوى الهرمونات التي تتغير مع تفكيرك تجاه ذلك الشخص وأيضا المحيط الذي أنت فيه وكذلك المحيط الذي كنت فيه وكذلك المحيط الذي تتصور أن تكون فيه بعد ذلك وكذلك علاقة أمك مع أبيك عندما كنت جنينا... المسألة ليست سهلة. ولكننا نملك القدرة... او نمتلك القدرة... للغة قوة.

الصراع ما بين الفرد والمجتمع!!!

الإنسان كائن اجتماعي ولكن منطلقه فردي وبهذا هو يحاول أن يكون جزءا من المجتمع الذي يفيده ويساعده في فهم منطلقاته النفسية ويساعده في إيجاد حلول لذاته تتماشى مع ما يدور حوله وما قد يفيده أولا ومن ثم يفيد ما حوله. الإنسان بطبعه ينطلق نحو الحياة وفق منظومته الفكرية لهدف الحياة. في نفس الوقت, نحن نوجد في مجتمعات وهي تحكم محيطنا ومحيطنا له شأن كبير في كيفية تطورنا البيلوجي والفكري كذلك. حتى عملية نسخ وحداتنا الوراثية تعتمد على المحيط الذي حولنا. المحيط عامل اساسي في تكويننا ونحن كائنات متفاعلة حيث نتفاعل مع محيطنا الذي نكونه من بعد ذلك وهو يكوننا وهكذا دواليك. للأفراد خبرات مختلفة وتطلعات مختلفة كذلك وبهذا يكون تكوين المجتمع العام قائم على خبرات وتطلعات عديدة.

المجتمع ( ليس مرادفا للمحيط) يقوم بوجود الأفراد ودائما ما يقوم على اتفاق غير مباشر على امور عديدة. تتكون مبادئ خاصة للمجتمع ومفاهيم تخص المجتمع بشكل عام ولكن المجتمع لا يأخذ في عين الإعتبار خبرات وتطلعات كل فرد بتفاصيلها. يقدم الأفراد بعض التنازلات الشخصية لقيام المجتمع ويقدم الأفراد أيضا مبادرات إنسانية لقيام المجتمع بشكل صحيح. بهذا, قد ننظر للمجتمع على أنه كائن عملاق له تطلعاته وأنماطه ولكنه وبسبب حجمه وكثرة العوامل الداخلة عليه, اتسم ببعض الصفات لإبقاء وجوده من غير مراعاة دقيقة لكل الأشياء. للمجتمع الهش بعض الصفات المشتركة مع الزواحف حيث نرى أن عقل الزواحف لا تتعاطى مع كل التفاصيل الدقيقة فهي تحاول فقط أن تبقي وجودها وتسعى إلى ما سيقوي مكانتها. المجتمع القائم على اللون الواحد غالبا ما يغدوا عدوا للفردية حيث لا يقبل تفاصيل قد تبدوا عن بعد أنها ليست مفيدة وفي أصلها كل الفائدة. يكون المجتمع مصرا على إثبات ما اتفق عليه سلفا وصلاح الفرد يظهر في مدى إمكانيته في التنازل عن فرديته.

مع هذا, قد يحاول بعض الأفراد تكوين مجتمع صغير داخل المجتمع ويتسم هذا المجتمع الصغير ببعض الصفات التي تراعي الفردية وتحتوي التجديد. يتسم المجتمع الجديد بمرونة التطور والإزدياد الفكري وعدم التصلب على منطلق واحد. بهذا يبدأ أفراد المجتمع الكبير في التخلي عنه والدخول في المجتمع الصغير وتبدأ عملية التبلور. عملية التبلور قد تبدوا في ظاهرها أنها عملية تنافسية لاستقطاب الأفراد ذو الصفات المفيدة في المدى البعيد وهي كذلك. لنأخذ صفة العنف وبمثال بسيط, عندما يكون هناك اثنان احدها عنيف والأخر غير ذلك, إنه من الحتمي أن يكون للعنيف السلطة على الرحيم. ولكن إذا كان لدينا مجموعة بعشرة أنفار متسمين بالرحمة والليونة وعشرة اخرين في مجموعة أخرى لهم صفة العنف والتلصب وكان هناك تحدي بين المجموعتين. بالحري, أن المجموعة الأولى ستنتج أفكارا أكثر فائدة وسيكون العمل بينهم أكثر اتساقا وسيفيدهم في المدى البعيد. بعد مرور الوقت, قد نرى بعض الأفراد من المجتمع الثاني, بعد أن تفقدوا حالهم, يتركون مجموعتهم ليلتحقوا بالمجموعة الرحيمة وهذا يزيد في عدد أفراد المجتمع المفيد.

إذن, الإنسان له عقل وفي عقله العاطفة كذلك وحب الإنتماء وعندما يساعده المجتمع في التعرف على ذاته بصفة عميقة فهو من يأخذ المبادرة في تحسين صورة المجتمع بشتى الصور. يلاحظ الإنسان أنه جزءا من مجتمعه وكل ما استطاع أن يفيد نفسه عبر مجتمعه فهو يعود ليفيد مجتمعه حتى يكون له محيط يسمح له أن يتطور. عندما تدفن الفردية لإبقاء المجتمع ذو اللون الواحد, يبدأ الصراع بين الفرد والمجتمع وهو صراع ذو عوامل كثيرة حيث يريد الإنسان احترام فرديته وفي نفس الوقت لا يريد تدمير المجتمع لأن حياته كإنسان قائمة على وجود المجتمع.